conditional friendship

Guri Bee

2 min read

·

20-10-2024

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Conditional Friendship: When "I'll be your friend if..." Becomes a Deal Breaker

Have you ever felt like your friendship was dependent on certain conditions? You might be experiencing a conditional friendship, a dynamic where your connection is tied to specific actions, behaviors, or even external factors. While it might seem like a simple matter of "give and take," conditional friendships can leave you feeling insecure, resentful, and ultimately, unfulfilled.

What is a Conditional Friendship?

Imagine a friend who only reaches out when they need something, or one whose support dwindles if you don't align with their opinions. These scenarios are examples of conditional friendships.

Here are some telltale signs:

• Your friend only shows up when it's convenient for them. They might be great at offering support when they need something in return, but disappear when you're struggling.
• Your friend judges your choices and withdraws their support if you don't conform. They may make you feel pressured to agree with their opinions or live according to their standards.
• Your friend's affection is tied to external factors like your social status or success. They might be more enthusiastic about being your friend when you're "winning" but become distant when you're facing challenges.

Why are Conditional Friendships Problematic?

These relationships are built on a shaky foundation of self-interest and lack genuine connection. They can be emotionally draining, leaving you feeling:

• Insecure: You might constantly worry about whether you're "doing enough" to maintain the friendship.
• Resentful: You may feel used or taken advantage of, especially if you consistently give more than you receive.
• Isolated: You might find yourself relying on others for genuine support because your conditional friend isn't a reliable source of emotional stability.

Navigating Conditional Friendships

It's important to acknowledge that everyone has boundaries and expectations in friendships. However, a healthy relationship should involve mutual respect, understanding, and a desire to support each other through thick and thin.

Here are some strategies for addressing conditional friendships:

• Communicate your needs and expectations. Have an honest conversation with your friend about how their behavior makes you feel.
• Set boundaries and enforce them. You have the right to limit your time with someone who isn't reciprocating your efforts.
• Evaluate the friendship. Ask yourself if this relationship brings you genuine joy and support. If not, it might be time to step back.

Remember: True friendships are built on mutual respect, empathy, and unconditional support. If you're in a conditional friendship, don't be afraid to prioritize your own well-being and seek out relationships that nourish your soul.